In his personal memoir of life in a Soviet prison camp, the Russian author Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn wrote these extraordinary words: â€œBless you prison, bless you for being in my life. For there, lying upon the rotting prison straw, I came to realise that the object of life is not prosperity as we are made to believe, but the maturity of the human soul.â€
What was it exactly that he learnt in the gulag that was the key to his maturity? Solzhenitsyn recounts: â€œgradually it was disclosed to me that the line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either — but right through every human heart — and through all human heartsâ€. The moment Solzhenitsyn came to maturity was the moment when he realised his own need for personal conversion and inner transformation as a human being and that a change of mind (literally, metanoia) rather than a change of circumstances was the key to his inner freedom. This is why he could genuinely bless his prison cell in the end. His second realisation was that there is no more effective, quick and lasting path to growth in maturity than embracing suffering. here he echoes the sentiments of St Paul in Romans 5:3-5, â€œwe rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance,Â Â and endurance produces character, and character produces hope,Â andÂ hope does not put us to shameâ€.
Today we celebrate the feast of St Peter and St Paul. These two men suffered and were shamed for their witness to the Gospel. But what I find so engaging about our two readings today â€“ from the Acts of the Apostles and the Second Letter to Timothy respectively â€“ is how they offer a window into the journey of personal maturity both men have arrived at by this point, when understood in the context of the wider canon of Scripture.
Most of what we know of St Peter comes from the Gospels. Here he is shown as a man who oscillated between fierce loyalty to Jesus and impetuosity in acting on it on one hand, undercut by a basic non-comprehension of the enormity of who Jesus really is and what His mission may demand. In todayâ€™s Gospel, we do see the confession of Peter that Jesus is Lord â€“ but only two verses further on from the end of todayâ€™s reading, Peter takes Jesus aside and begins to rebuke him in response to Jesusâ€™ warning about His coming Passion and death. Peter, impetuous and valiant, says: â€œNever, Lord! â€œThis shall never happen to you!â€. Recall too at the beginning of the passion drama when Peter jumps in to protect Jesus from arrest (John 18:10) in Gethsemane, still obtuse in not understanding or not acquiescing to the will of God.
We too have something to learn from Peterâ€™s attitude here. The Baptist teacher Oswald Chambers remarked that â€œone of the hardest lessons to learn comes from our stubborn refusal to refrain from interfering in other peopleâ€™s lives. It takes a long time to realize the danger of being an amateur providence, that is, interfering with Godâ€™s plan for others. You see someone suffering and say, â€œHe will not suffer, and I will make sure that he doesnâ€™t.â€ You put your hand right in front of Godâ€™s permissive will to stop it, and then God says, â€œWhat is that to you?â€
The problem is, running away from your own suffering and encouraging others to do the same only makes another people suffer in the long run â€“ if I donâ€™t carry my own cross, it will end up being borne by another. There are no â€˜get-out-of-the-cross free cards in this life. Consider the example of Malchus, the guard who had his ear chopped off because of Peterâ€™s attempt at saving Jesus which would have cost humanity true salvation.
All that being said, by the time of our first reading today, we see a marked change in Peterâ€™s attitude. Todayâ€™s passage begins with the execution of St James at the sword of King Herod, the first apostle to be martyred. There is every reason to think that St Peter expected the same fate. Everything points to the end game. Instead, he is arrested and put into prison â€“ but the expectation turns from one of imminent death to death-in-the-near-future. Whatâ€™s interesting is that there is no indication that Peter resisted the death of James nor to what seems to be his own coming end.
This is a testimony to Peterâ€™s growth in maturity, his conversion â€“ to be willing, even glad, to bear suffering for the sake of the Gospel and to allow others to freely do the same, even if it costs life itself. This time, Peter doesnâ€™t fight, he doesnâ€™t deny Christ and he doesnâ€™t run away. Nor was he impulsive or grandiose in trying to seek out death in a heroic act of his own choosing. What is it that has changed for Peter between the Gospels and the book of Acts? Well, in the interim Peter has seen Jesus die and but also rise again. Peterâ€™s inconstancy and fear of suffering have matured into a convicted faith which is the grounding of our surrender to God, even amidst the greatest trials. Peter now understands and he is not afraid anymore; he has found the peace of Christ.
Peterâ€™s steadfastness under suffering is accompanied by the self-emptying of St Paul. Unlike St Peter, we learn about St Paulâ€™s character mostly by his own writings in the New Testament letters. The first encounter we have of St Paul is in Acts 8, a man who had other men put coats at his feet (Acts 7:58), who rode atop a horse and looked down on others, a man secure in his own self-sufficiency and righteousness. By the time of his second letter to Timothy, we meet a man who has been cast to the ground in every way, â€˜poured outâ€™, stretched and emptied. How does this indicate growth in maturity? Doesnâ€™t growth mean an increase? Yes, it does, but not in the ways we expect. Humility is both the foundation and the apex of the spiritual life â€“ the higher we climb, we emptier we become â€“ by which we increase our capacity for God. Oswald Chambers noticed that at this point, maturity is producedâ€¦on the unconscious level, until we become so totally surrendered to God that we are not even aware of being used by Him.
One final point: we are used by him for the sake of His body, the Church. As teacher David Powlinson points out, â€œspiritual maturity is not an end in itself but is a gift for others.â€ St Peter and St Paul are the two pillars of the Church: they of all people needed to mature to theÂ fullÂ measure of theÂ stature of Christ (Eph. 4:13). Tracing their growth through suffering gives us something to reflect on in our own lives, and what is ultimately uplifting is that both readings end with each man declaring his certainty of Godâ€™s rescue.
 My Utmost for His Highest, What is That To You?
 Oswald Chambers: My Utmost for His Highest; What is That To You?